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In war, you cannot stay neutral. You have got to stay on
one side or the other. But I didn’t appreciate that children
could be torn; here was a 12 year old girl who sat and told
me to be go home without feeling angry. She just wanted
the war to be over. She changed something deeply inside
of me. She started opening my eyes. Unfortunately I do not
have any photo of An.
As a soldier, I feel I am fortunate that I did not have
to take anybody’s life – that is what makes many soldiers
suffer most. .
Why do the photos look so peaceful?
Most of what I experienced in Vietnam was peaceful. I
could sit down and talk to the kids. I never saw enemy except
for those who were already captured. Nobody ever shot at
me. I never felt threatened. I did not see glory in war.
I did take the photos of tanks going by and other stuff
like that, but I was never particularly drawn to those images.
I was always more inspired by the children. At that time I
was not much older than some of them. Take for example
a photo of a brother and sister by my jeep. The boy looked
like he was probably 16. Children here would not pose for a
camera like in America. They were very natural in the pho-
tos. When I captured an instant moment, what I think about
is the emotional connection with the photo.
Why did you choose to become a Buddhist?
It has been a long process. I have been a Buddhist for
maybe 20 years, since about 1995. The first moment on
my path was when I met An and I started to see things
differently.
When I went back to the United States, I went to a pres-
entation about the war. Actually, it was more about the cul-
ture in Vietnam. The man who gave the presentation asked
me how I felt about people in Vietnam when I was there but
he didn’t understand my answer.
I started to doubt everything that I used to believe. I
didn’t know who I was anymore. I was a Christian because I
was born a Christian. I was a marine who joined the war and
then I was a marine who protested against the war.
The third turning point of my life was when my third
child was killed in a car accident in 1990, and at that time
I gave up my Christian belief. Instead of replacing it with
another belief, I started to search more deeply about the
meaning of life and Buddhism answered all my questions
and addressed my doubts about life.
50 per cent of Americans of my age were soldiers in
Vietnam, but when I came back to Vietnam in 2008, people
welcomed me, no one disliked me. I feel at home here.
Since I have been a Buddhist I have not drunk much
alcohol. When I was in Hanoi, my interpreter invited me to
meet his father. I sat down with this man who was once my
enemy. We sat down and had two beers. This was my first
violation, but it was a wonderful moment. In the future, I
am going to publish a photo book about children in Vietnam
which collects my works together.
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