Features

While her former classmates were occupied with exams, Nguyen Hong Ha was in the midst of a dark, terrible mood. “I wanted to end my life,” she said. Ha, not her real name, had been studying at Hong Duc University in the northern province of Thanh Hoa before she met her boyfriend in the autumn of 2004 and quit her studies to follow him to nearby Vinh, where he was starting out at a private university.

The couple lived together for a year before she became pregnant. Then they were hit with the news he had failed an entrance exam for a public training institution.
“My boyfriend refused to take responsibility for the pregnancy, and his mother blamed me for his [exam] failure,” Ha said, holding back tears.
“My boyfriend’s father was also suspicious that the baby was not his grandson. He said that once I had sex with his son, I could do it with anyone.”
Ha has been left to pick up the pieces and raise the child alone.
It is a story that is becoming more common in Vietnam.
Once a taboo subject, premarital sex is being talked about in a traditional society slowly embracing more modern values.
While it is difficult to get an accurate assessment, the World Health Organization (WHO), Ministry of Health, Unicef and the General Statistics Office paint similar pictures of premarital sex in Vietnam.
According to a recently published Survey Assessment of Vietnamese Youth (SAVY), jointly undertaken by the four organisations, less than 14 per cent of males surveyed reported having premarital sex. Among females that figure is less than 1.9 per cent, and more people in urban areas report having premarital sex.
The survey involved 7,584 youths aged 14-25 from 42 provinces and cities across the country.
Most of the people surveyed disapproved of premarital sex, with about three-fourths saying they would wait for marriage to have sex.
According to Margaret Sheehan, WHO country health promotion adviser, the level of premarital sex in Vietnam is lower than that of other countries in the region and the world. Research by Yale and Colombia University in 2004 revealed that premarital sex among 18- and 20-year-olds in metropolitan areas of the United States is as high as 65.6 per cent for girls and 63.3 per cent for boys. In a recent American Medical Journal article, Robit Rahma claimed one-third of modern Indians have premarital sex.
“One in every three boys and one in every six girls break the cultural rules, so in Vietnam it’s not very high,” Sheehan said.
“I do believe that now there is more premarital sex than before, but I do not think people are having sex younger,” she said.
She said previous generations got married earlier, but now the period between puberty and first marriage has increased to about 10 years.
“Your parents [often] got married at 12, and they had their first sex then. But now the figure is 27 for marriage. The increased premarital sex is attributed to the 15-year difference,” Sheehan said.
Sheehan appreciates society’s role in delaying sexual initiation among Vietnamese youth.
“I talked with my single colleagues, including those who work for the United Nations, and I realised they are not sexually active,” she said. “They are even shy when talking about it.”
SAVY also revealed that most peer groups were not of mixed gender. Parents still advise their children against going out with friends of the opposite sex.
“Culture and strong family connections keep young people close to their families,” she said.
SAVY’s figures also claim that sex among 14- to 17 year-olds is low, at about 0.6 per cent. “Vietnam does not need to be alarmed, but what it needs to do is to maintain the low level,” Sheehan said.
On the other hand, Huong, a student at Hanoi National University, said: “I had never taken the matter [of premarital sex] so seriously, but in fact it is. I suspect that 100 per cent of girlfriends and boyfriends have sex.”
This opinion reflects the division over premarital sex in a society where traditional and modern values clash.
After conducting research on the sexual behavior of unmarried urban students, Dr Vu Quy Nhan, of the Centre for Population Studies and Information under the National Committee of Population and Family Planning, concluded: “Social norms and regulations on pre- and extra-marital sex have significantly eroded, and more social norms and regulations are yet to be established.”
Nhan found that 21 per cent of female students approve of sex among engaged couples; that figure is more than three times higher than among males. The difference may be that girls do not think engagement is a guarantee for a marriage. As to whether people who are not engaged but are in love should have sex, more than 43 per cent of male students showed their support. Fewer female students agreed.
Surprisingly, nearly half of the males surveyed and about 30 per cent of female respondents approve of sex between friends.
Of the 1,603 students aged 17-24 surveyed at institutions in Hanoi and Ho Chi Minh City, seven reported having sex on the first date. Others confirmed that after initially having sex, the barriers drop and most develop an appetite for more intimacy.
Girls who lose their virginity also take the attitude they have “nothing to lose again”.
The survey also revealed that average Vietnamese males begin having sex at the age of 19, with 70 per cent reporting their first sexual experience was with their girlfriend, 20 per cent with sex workers and 10 per cent with employees at massage parlours or a restaurant/bar. For females, the average age is 20 and their first experience was mainly with their boyfriends. The figures are in sharp contrast to the SAVY survey results.
The director of the Hanoi Center for Consulting on Reproductive Health, Dr. Tran Thi Thanh, said the reality is much more serious than what is formally reported. “I guess up to 60 per cent of adolescents and youth nowadays have premarital sex.” While contraception is available, the premarital sex pregnancy rate is high in Vietnam.
Each year there are about two million abortions, accounting for about 7.6 per cent of women in reproductive age. Yet the real number is much greater because most unmarried pregnant women choose private clinics to keep the pregnancies secret.
“The ones who resort to public hospitals are mostly rural girls who normally have financial trouble,” Thanh said.
According to Dr. Nguyen Duc Vy, director of the Hospital for Mothers and Newborns, single women accounted for nearly 80 per cent of youth abortions. About 17 per cent of the women were students and 5 per cent had had at least one previous abortion.
In contrast with WHO’s findings, Thanh said the 14-17 age group is the most sexually active one. “Last week, we helped a 14-year-old school pupil get rid of an unexpected pregnancy. And cases like that are not rare.”
The negative influence of abortion are obvious. Statistics show that up to 60 to 70 per cent of infertility is a direct result of abortions.
“Coming to our centre, most girls, especially adolescents, are terrified and ask whether the abortion will have harmful consequences,” Dr. Thanh said.
Thanh said girls normally have to pay VND500,000 for an abortion.
Alarmingly, the research on reproductive health and sexual behavior found that 17 per cent of males said they did not care about the possible consequences of sex.
“My roommate had sex and got pregnant and got genital warts. Each month her family gives her VND500,000 for tuition fees, accommodation and food while a 10-day medical treatment cost her VND2 million. She borrowed money from everywhere,” said a student at Ho Chi Minh City’s University of Technology.
Aside from the health dangers and economic loss, there are the psychological effects of premarital sex and pregnancies.
In some countries having a child out of wedlock is looked down on, but it does not mean a girl can’t get married. But in Vietnam, premarital pregnancy and birth is shrouded in shame.
“Now with just one month to go before the delivery, I dare not tell my family. My mother would die of shock, and my father would kill me for the humiliation,” said a one-time Hong Duc University student.
Despite sex being a natural and human need, in Vietnam it is still taboo.
“In Vietnam, parents do not normally discuss sex with children. When the daughter has her first period, she does not know what to do. Even after marriage, mothers avoid talking with daughters about sex,” Sheehan said.
Whatever the official statistics and experts’ spin on them, youth are now more open-minded about premarital sex. However, whether they are more responsible about its consequences is another story.
“Nowadays, you can call your girlfriend your wife because there’s nothing different,” said Truong, third-year student at the Central College for Music and Arts. “Even though later, for some reason you might choose not to marry her.”



No. 748/February 13-19, 2006